Bye Bye Love

There is a character in this movie, Lucille, who says at one point: "I'm not shooting for a successful relationship at this point. I'm just looking for something that will prevent me from throwing myself in front of a bus. I'm keeping my expectations very very low. Basically, I'm just looking for a mammal. That's my bottom line, and I'm really very flexible on that, too."

I watched that movie a lot after my divorce. It made me laugh and cry at the same time. There was this sweet hope that emerged at the end because all the characters had found their "comfort" spot and were getting on with their lives better. It was that phase of time that heals. I took Taryn out to dinner last night. When I got home from church she was curled up in bed crying. She's mourning for a lost love. Her first. They broke up in March and she still does this whenever she runs into his mother at work or if she sees his car around town. She has her good days and her bad days. Yesterday was a baaaaad day.



This is Taryn and Matt in the good old days. When she went through her surgeries he was great. He camped out at the hospital with all of us and I remember looking at him and wondering if he was the kind of guy who would go the distance. If he truly loved her and would take care of her even after she got better. He wasn't. In fact she was home only three days when he left her. Up until that time they were inseparable. I told her it was better that she found out now than later after they had been together years. I said all the cliche things and hated hearing them come out of my mouth aimed at her Grand Canyon size wound. I worried that she would heal slowly now that her heart was broken along with her body. I was mad at Matt for his lousy timing but grateful he was out of her life.

When a child goes through a broken heart you just ache with them. Somehow you want to inject them with happiness and help them see the world as brand new now that they are free to begin again. I used to joke that my heart had been broken so many times it beat with a limp. It would have been funny if it hadn't been so true. I haven't actually been all that good at picking men in my life. So She looks at me with one eyebrow up an a "ya right" look when I try and say, here's what you need to do! Well who else in her life has more experience with this??? hahahaha Ironic I know.

I just wish she could see how beautiful and wonderful she is. I wish somehow the way we see ourselves is how our mothers see us. Perfect and full of goodness. Or better yet, how our dogs see us! There ya go!! They adore us for being in their lives. Unconditional love. Matt couldn't give her that and someday she'll realize what really happened and be thankful she moved on without him. Until then I just do what I can to encourage her. Just get through those bad days. There's always a good one coming.

~Adele~