Being Thankful

It's now time to turn our thoughts to Thanksgiving. I'm putting away the Halloween decor today and switching gears to a happy harvest. My son Garrison and his wife Misty are coming up today from Colorado Springs. I love it when they come to stay. Lately I've been real clingy with my kids. Not sure why. I just need them around me. It seems like so long ago since we all lived under the same roof. We had the typical family arguments and the kids did everything they could to get away with stuff but lately we laugh about the past. I like that. Garrison reminded me of how I used to chase him around the house with my wooden spoon whenever he was in trouble and sometimes I never caught him. He was a slippery little sucker. Or the time when the paramedics came when Taryn couldn't breathe and was on the bathroom floor and Garrison thought it was the police and ran out the back of the house and hopped over the fence and went running off like a fugitive. I've always wondered what he thought he was running from?? The truth "hitteth" the guilty hard?? I was a little too worried about my daughter's breathing to worry about my son's paranoia at that moment but we laugh about it now. They all tell me stories about when mom wasn't home and how they ganged up on each other at times. I just raise an eyebrow and wonder what on earth possessed them to pin each other to the carpet on occasion. Christian said he had rug burns more than once. Garrison would sit on him apparently and Taryn was the cheerleader. All the kids are three years apart. We never planned that it just happened that way. I lost one in between Garrison and Taryn. I remember being very sad when that happened and Kathy Hyatt, a friend of mine, said I was blessed to have one child of my own and to be grateful for that and not sad. Then a friend at work told me you can't shake a good one loose and I just never forgot that. When I got pregnant with Taryn shortly after that I was scared the whole time. And why is it that people feel the need to tell you ever horror story they can think of when you're pregnant???? My wife lost one at birth when the cord strangled the baby being born etc. I just would look at these people in disbelief and thank you very much avoid them in the future!!

Thus, I digress. Thanksgiving. There is so much to be thankful for this year. Mostly that last year is over. In the past. Soon to be a distant memory. 2007 totally sucked lemons. Don't even want to recap it I just want to moooove on to the future! I'm liking my ward finally, feeling a part of Nursery and so in love with my little nursery babies that it's fun to go to church again. I just adore them in ways I couldn't imagine. It is literally the BEST calling in the ward. The babies love you unconditionally and there is no pre conceived anything, they are honest and loving and giving. You get from them what you give and if they love you you're doing something right in your life. It's an honest barometer. And lately they are happy to see me and play with me when I'm in there with them. I know who likes cheese balls and who prefers graham crackers. I know how to spell their names and how to calm down the ones who cry when mom or dad leaves. I'm very thankful for every baby in there.

I'm thankful for Cynthia. I still tear up when I say her name. For so many years I I had lost touch with her and it's because I was embarrassed. My marriage to Jamie had crumbled and it was my biggest fear come to life. Cynthia and Matt had this amazing relationship and I wanted that so much in my life. I think when Jamie and I broke up I alienated a lot of my church friends because I didn't know what to say. How do you tell them that your husband didn't love you? It was impossible to explain it. Or even feel it. Even now it's hard. I felt such envy of the women who had that in their lives and it felt so unfair. Why me? And later after a few more experiences I learned to ask another question. Why not me? It was okay that I didn't have the fairy tale. Not everyone does. But you move on and grow in ways that you never thought you would or could. Every bad thing brings something good with it. I learned to plant my own flowers and not wait for someone else to bring to them to me. I learned that with every ending comes a beginning. Not everyone will love you but there are those who will. I'm thankful for that knowledge. I'm also thankful for a Heavenly Father who carried me. For so long. There just aren't words to express my gratitude for him. I've considered myself a "daddy's girl" where Heavenly Father is concerned. He put his arms around me for years. I will love him forever for that. So Thanksgiving this year is special. There is much to celebrate.

~Adele~