I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about how I look at the world. Perspective seems to be everything. How we look at things and how we deal with things. I've been going through some of the past years just thinking about how I've handled trials or blessings. Today when I was listening to the general conference I started evaluating my performance. I'm reading Embraced By The Light again. Every year or so I re read it. I like to keep the concepts fresh in my mind. I like to read Betti's account of the spirit world and it gets me so excited to see my dad again. To visit with my loved ones who are there and to experience the love she describes all around you in the spirit world. I worry though. I worry that I won't be ready. I worry about my kids who will be on earth when I'm there in another time zone. I miss dad so much. I wonder at times how much he is able to be here with me. I know there are things people are busy doing in the spirit world. It's not all floating and cloud design I would imagine.

It's October. Christian's 19th birthday tomorrow. I made him a chocolate cake with crushed Butterfinger candy bars on top. It's his favorite. Not sure where we are going to celebrate but he's my baby and it's hard to believe he is 19 already. Taryn is 21 and Garrison 24. Honestly it seems like yesterday they were 2, 4 and 7 and all excited about Halloween, what they were going to be and all the candy they were going to collect. Now they worry about car repairs, saving for a house down payment, college tuition and grown up stuff. It doesn't seem like childhood lasted very long for them. Mine was so long ago it almost feels like it happened to someone else. In some ways it did. I have the fuzzy memories of my childhood but it's funny how they fade away and you become this person who is a composite of all you've done and been. Hopefully the lessons have taught you well and you carry the wisdom from them with you.

I love the sound of the night here in Colorado. Crickets. Rustling leaves. The sky is always clear and pretty. I love twilight when it's this deep blue with a deeper blue covering that with streaks of clouds turning purple to black. I love my porch swing in the back yard. So does my new puppy. Ruger has figured out how to climb up there by himself and he'll sit there and watch the back yard for hours. Just sitting there all happy and content. I'm so glad we decided to keep him. He makes our fuzzy family complete. Two boys and two girls. Tank and Ruger are my studs and Harley and Mugsy are my former mamas. No more babies for us. It's all good. We did a great job while it lasted.

Back to my book. I'm at the good part where she is describing the spirit world in detail. I love for her to take me there with her for a while. I love imagining my father there. Happy and surrounded by love.

Adele