A White Oleander Mood

I am missing California today. i spent the day in Colorado Springs. I really love it there. Sometimes you just need to get out of your normal surroundings and experience some place new. There are so many great stores in the Springs. I had lunch at Captain Ds. I went there with my parents one year when I visited. Dad got mad at me for not eating much. Funny the things you remember about places and people. I drove past the old house. The one where my parents lived when my dad was alive. I remember the porch and the goose mom would dress in clothes depending on the weather or holiday. It's all different now. Different paint and different people. I bet it even smells different inside. I visit California a lot in my mind. I go to Stockbrook Road and stand out front of my house. Even though I sold it I believe it will always belong to me. So much of the important years of my life were lived there. That will never change. That will always be mine. My memories are there. The word "home" will be attached to that house and that street. Sometimes I go for walks and smell the air and look at the shops. I know it's probably all different now but to me that doesn't matter.

I see Ortho Mattress on Washington Blvd in Culver City too. There are times in your life when everything in the world is aligned and feels like pure truth. That is what I felt there. The whole experience of it was a movie set and I watch it replay over and over in slow motion. Dancing in the store to the music over the intercom with Ray and dreaming of all the things we would own or places we would go. The happiness was staggering. Like your favorite part of a song. You could hear it over and over forever and never get tired of it. Like going home. I love memories. They are gifts from God. You can brighten anything with them. Wipe out depression and always feel good. The good is there. Lurking! hahahaha I choose life. I choose to remember the good. Still it's a white oleander mood. Like a yo yo sometimes I bounce back and forth. It's not quite as hard to do anymore. I like it and feel peaceful about visiting the past.

Adele