My trip to Utah & the dog days of summer

It's the dog days of summer. Taryn, Christian and I took a trip to Utah to see some family and friends. We left last Thursday July 30th and got back on Tuesday August 4th. Christian went to his cousin's wedding and Taryn and I went to see Annie Norris, my best friend from California when we lived there. Her husband Jim has recently asked for a divorce and she is devastated. When something happens like this we usually go through four phases. The first one is shock and disbelief. Second Anger. Third negotiations and fourth acceptance.

Annie is now in the anger phase full swing. Most of her family and friends are also in the anger phase. I'm so mad at Jim for doing this. They were together close to 25 years. I always thought they would be together always. She was perfect for him and their personalities were so complementary. She wasn't bothered by things he did that would have driven someone like me up the wall. He could be very outspoken and rude sometimes and she just brushed it off and never made a big deal about things. He wouldn't think before he would say things. Annie is such a calm, peaceful, good person. She's fun and whimsical and so caring. She loves her family and friends with a heart as deep as the ocean. I credit her for my love for the sea. She is the first mermaid in my life.

I remember going to the movies with her in the afternoon when I was coping with Ray's death. She held my hand and somehow just being with her made me feel like I was going to survive this. That no matter how alone I felt I was never more than a phone call away from someone who loved me unconditionally. I still have that with her after all these years. Her kids are my kids and vice versa. I guess in life we are blessed with these special spiritual connections that sustain us in times of despair and trouble and for me it was Annie who understood when everything fell apart for me. I just needed to sit with her now that she needed support and hold her hand and let her know that no matter what happened to her she was going to be okay. I needed to remind her of the beauty in the world and all the people who need her and love her. Jim isn't one of them anymore and that is his loss completely. I am angry with him for hurting her and saying such mean things that can never be taken back. When you have a kindred spirit friendship the hurt is felt by all.

She takes care of her aging parents right now or I would have brought her back to Colorado with me. I know it's what she needs right now. She has been such a blessing to her mother who is paralyzed from a back surgery that went wrong. Her father has diabetes and she manages his care too. Annie is an angel to everyone who knows her. I"m so glad I got to go see her. Now it's back to life as usual. This week it has been an entire year that we lost Cynthia Milligan. I can hardly believe it's been twelve months already. So much has changed for everyone. When people leave this life they leave behind a silence that is profound and deep. You strain with your human ears to hear what is in that silence but only in the temple have I ever heard words come from it. I've heard what my father would have said to me or Ray or Cynthia. I have so many loved ones in the spirit world. I don't know how often they reach back for us. It seems that in times of trouble they come sometimes. Annie lost her precious granddaughter at only one year old. She drown in the swimming pool at her house in California. Little Cleo was especially beautiful and happy. The silence after her death was unbearable. Sometimes we all still feel it but there is a comfort that she will greet us when we leave this world. I know she watches over Annie and my dad watches over me.

In September we face Taryn's surgery again. I'm going to need all my angels this time. For some reason I'm more scared. Taryn and I have really gotten closer this past year. She has changed and matured a lot over the past few months. I'm so impressed with her ability to see the needs of others now. She needed to grow like this and it's such a joy as a mother to see when your children change in good ways. This is a long post but I haven't written in here in ages. I'll try and be more diligent and do it more often.

It's the dog days of summer.

Adele